My Brother, the Sports Fan

My brother Bob is a sports fan. His favorite sports are golf, tennis, skiing, and swimming. He skis in the winter, swims in the summer, and plays golf during the spring, summer, and plays golf during the spring, summer, and fall. He also watches football and baseball on TV. His bedroom looks like a used sporting goods store. Bob owns skis, tennis racquets, golf clubs, footballs, basketballs, tennis balls, soccer balls, a bicycle, and weights. Whenever he comes home from a sports event, he throws his equipment in a pile on his bed. When the pile gets too high, you can't see his bed, his desk, or sometimes even him.

How to Fail a Driving Test

It's easy to fail a driving test if you really try. First, park your car so close to the next car that the examiner cannot get into your car to begin the test. It also helps to have your two front wheels far up on the curb - blocking the sidewalk if possible. Second, back out of the parking space really fast. After tht, try to hit something such as another car. Don't stop at stop signs but speed up to get through intersections quickly. Then, try to make your tires squeal while turnig corners. Next, look for an opportunity to return the wrong way on a one-way street. Entering a one-way street in the wrong direction will cause you to fail immediately. Finally, don't stop for pedestrians in crosswalks, but use your horn to frighten them out of your way. Just one of these techniques will probably get you an F on a driving test, and two or more certainly will.